Yes, as the title suggests, this post will be a little bit of an erratic one…

It will almost reflect the thoughts in my mind, that look a little something like having 2073814659 tabs open on Google!

I’ve always been someone who worries about everything.

I’m the type to go to sleep at night and overthink a million and one things. These thoughts are way beyond the ones of: did I lock the front door and turn the oven off? (Even though I didn’t even use the oven that day!).

Yes, the anxious mind does a number on you at night time, doesn’t it?!

Whilst I’ve always been a worrier, my worries and fears have intensified as I’m getting older. And especially now as a woman in my thirties!

Troubling thoughts as a woman in my thirties…

I’m sure we all think the same thing, that by this age we would have our life mapped out. I’m talking marriage, kids, dream house, dream career and perhaps a dream car as a bonus.

But no, this is what society paints for us as the ‘normal’. Yet, this is far from normal and we should all do life on our own terms and at our own pace. It’s not a race.

Whilst I know this, I can’t help but constantly worry about a number of things as a woman in her thirties. Especially as that mapped out ‘dream life’ is far from reality for me right now.

A big worry of mine is that I’ve left it too late to have a child in my 30s?

I question if I can even have children, will my body be strong enough to get through a pregnancy and birth, the older I get.

I’m not married, so I question…

Do I just have children and forget marriage because I’m on a time limit?

For me this would be heartbreaking as I’ve always wanted marriage before children, but as my body clock ticks, it’s feels like I’m running out of time.

And then I question career changes in the future…

If I want to change career, I wonder if I’d be able to get a new job at my age, or will it be held against me that I’m of child bearing age and therefore, I know I’ll be rejected regardless as to how suitable I am for the job.

Yes, unfortunately as a woman these are things I have to consider. And these are things I relentlessly worry about.

These are worries many women have to endure, not just me. The worries we have specifically based on our gender and where we are placed in society, as well as the role that we play.

It’s tough, it really is.

The worries don’t stop there…

I worry about money, health and loved ones in my life amongst other things – like being judged for not having a mortgage. Don’t get me started!

And yes, I know there’s far worse things going on in the world to be worrying about too.

It’s like the older I get the bigger my fears become. If only I could embrace that inner fearless child that is somewhere buried deep.

As women, I feel there is an immense pressure on the decisions we make, and the lives we choose to live. There’s an intense feeling of having to live your life a certain way, because you’re a woman.

I want to applaud other women for still showing up and fighting the fight every day. Most of the worries and pressures you may be feeling and overthinking too, are just thoughts, okay?

They say comparison is the thief of joy. True.

But I’m a strong believer that worries are the thief of joy and happiness too.

Please don’t let an irrational thought in the moment predict or control your future. Focus on the now, concentrate on the things you can control, taking note of any negativity you may feel and then simply let it go.

You have to acknowledge the negative before you can throw it away, otherwise it will forever stay lodged in your mind, hogging up space where other positive and more meaningful thoughts could stay.

Women are a lot stronger than we believe and give ourselves credit for. The challenges and battles you overcome, the knocks you receive in life but you’re still standing – now that is admirable.

And remember, you are capable of ANYTHING that your heart desires. Being a woman is your strength and your superpower, and the best thing we can do as women is to be cheerleaders for other women. Together we are stronger and I’m all for women supporting women!

Regardless how tough it is and the hurdles we have to endure, I 100% love being a woman! And I hope you do too.