You ever experience a sense of deflation in the lead up to your birthday?

You know where you feel just very meh about the thought of celebrating your special day.

If you answered yes to the above, then me too.

I know exactly how you feel.

Feeling the pre birthday blues…

As a child I was always excited for my birthday; you take sweets into school for the whole class and at the end of the day you know you have some birthday celebrations waiting for you. For me, it involved seeing family, eating my most favourite food for dinner and having the largest slice of birthday cake. YUM! (Some things NEVER change!)

Yet as I’ve gotten older that sense of excitement has almost gone. Like a candle’s wick that’s on its last legs, but is trying its hardest to hold onto a tiny bit of a flame before it burns out completely.

That’s how I picture the fading excitement.

For me, as I’m getting older I feel a sense of dread in the lead up to my birthday.

Why do I get the birthday blues?

Not just because I’m a year older.

But because with the age comes the constant reminder of how far off plan my life has gone.

I wish I had done things sooner in life, or not wasted so much time doing things or spending time with people that weren’t meant to be in my future.

We all have that scenario, and have caught ourselves saying in the past: by the age of 25 I’ll be married with two kids and have my own house.

How wrong I was…

But for me, not being married or having children in my 30s feels like I’ve failed life. It feels shameful on myself, my family and I almost feel a little past it to fulfil those dreams.

I feel I’m too old and now need to be in a rush to do these things, as I’m a fair bit older than my ‘ideal age’ to achieve these things by.

I feel a failure because I’m living up to the standards of my wider family and the pressure that is put on society to achieve things, especially as a woman.

Yet in reality there is no real failure.

I’m happy, healthy, have an amazing partner, family, friends and I’m building on my career. So I’m a actually more successful in life than I realise.

It’s hard to not compare our lives to others and to dwell on things that we haven’t got, or haven’t done, yet.

But we need to remember that there is no ONE path that we MUST all take.

There is no RIGHT time to do something.

And there’s isn’t a WRONG time or it’s TOO LATE to do something either.

We are the owner of our time, map and journey of life. No one else.

As long as you are living your life for YOU, you’re healthy, you’re loved and you’re happy, then you can’t really ask for much more.

Plus, everything always happens for a reason; trust in the universe and believe with all that you have that everything will be okay in the end.

Because it really will! ❤️