As I’m getting older, I’m adopting more of a no nonsense attitude to life. Becoming tired of my people pleasing ways; I’m grabbing life with both hands and I’m making choices based on what’s within my best interests.

Some may call this selfish.

But self aware people would call this creating boundaries and prioritising myself, which believe it or not is essential.

I’ve worked hard on myself for a few years now, discovering my self worth, identifying my needs and challenging myself to become a person that I’ve always wanted to be.

By no means is my work done here.

I’m still on this journey, but best believe the difference I can see in myself and particularly my mental health is night and day in comparison.

One thing I’ve challenged myself to do the last year or so, is to start making choices for me, rather than prioritising others’ feelings.

I used to always feel guilty making a choice for me, because of how that other person would feel. But in reality, I asked myself the same question: “would I be annoyed, upset or disappointed if someone made a choice based on what’s best for them, and would I look at them differently?”

And the answer came to me instantly.

No.

I would respect their decision, do my best to understand and I would value that they are prioritising their needs.

Remember: prioritising your needs is not selfish; it’s essential for being the very best version of yourself, not just for you but for your loved ones too.

So this year, I’m really focusing on adopting this attitude to life and these are just some of the things that I won’t be apologising for.

Things I’m not sorry for…

1. Saying no

When did saying no become such a bad thing. It’s as if it’s something that is frowned upon and has people throwing comments like: “how dare you refuse…”, “what do you mean you said no…” or “you can’t say no to that.”

Unless someone lives your life as you, they have no say on the decisions that you make for your life.

I will be putting on my ‘No’ name badge, I’m setting my own boundaries and will no longer be a ‘yes’ person. And that’s something I’m definitely not sorry for!

2. Calling out people on their behaviour

Something else I’m growing tired of is people acting a certain way that is totally unacceptable, yet no one addresses them on their behaviour.

Meaning they get away with it time and time again.

If you’re going to act in a certain way that’s unacceptable or unfair, I’m not here for it and I will tell you about it.

I would expect others to do the exact same to me too.

3. Avoiding people that aren’t my vibe

There will always be people in your life that just aren’t your cup of tea, and that’s totally fine. The same way I’m not people’s sort of person. That’s just the way life goes.

Bur what’s not okay is entertaining or forcing such relationships out of obligation, or because you’re a people pleaser.

If I don’t vibe with you, then I’m not going to waste my time or yours trying to force something that clearly isn’t there.

Life is too short for that.

4. Living a quiet, closed off life…

Call me boring, I call it living my best life – doing the things that make me happy.

Yes, most of my weekends run on the same pattern. I prefer a night in, have a small group of friends, rarely go out, don’t really drink alcohol, LOVE going to the gym and for a long walk, especially on a Sunday morning. Oh and not to mention – a 5pm movie with tea and biscuits is heaven to me!

Call it slow, call it boring, call me an old person at heart or whatever you want to call it. I don’t care because these things fill my cup, they make me feel content and they put a smile on my face.

And that’s all that matters.

The slow life satisfies me and I don’t need anyone’s approval on it.

So yeah, these are just some of the things I’m not sorry for this year.

And you shouldn’t be sorry for the choices you’re making for yourself either.

Don’t ever shrink yourself so as not to dim anyone else’s light.

Be unapologetically and authentically you.

This life is YOURS to live it, exactly how you want to.